Notes

Awe, wonder. Joy. I am going to take this time easy. I can tell you about all the trips I’ve taken, which sounds so vague in the beginning. I can tell my thoughts, share my notes, make it personal. The funny note is that just when you think it’s personal, it turns out not to be, not so much, not when you fly a plane over it and realize it’s… the thing… is spread all over the people. The face is blushing. Some people leave me not so impressed as of late. Has this been something I’ve been looking for, I think I’ve found it. My joy is in locating the truth in things. Try for this. I’m going to dedicate more time to this.

When my beloved passed away recently, I could’ve tumbled down deep into any barrel. I consciously chose not to, as a way to dedicate my heart, to my darling Rudra, my favorite person of all of time.

I think I am going to take it easy. Write more. Don’t let anyone speak a secret code against it. Call them on their code and seize your precious time. You have the ability for conscious living. Continuous reacting can be a thing of the past.

Writing notes lately of possible little stories. They are seeds and paragraphs, maybe sprouting into beauty, but are going strange places—I don’t try and force the subject or take a heavy handed approach. It’s not that I go which ever way the wind blows but I also have a sort of trust in the wind that it somehow knows what it is doing.

That’s the thing with the flow state. Once you get into it, you have some room to move around. Childhood comes up. Waiter says, I take your plate? What are you reading, I see there, Michael Crichton? I should check that out… Yeah, yeah. Anyway, the flow state, the place you get to that’s obvious, the words are easy, the paint is loose, the women looser. You don’t feel like a loser.

Word play is great, I can’t knock it, but it’s only a part of it. If you were to ask me what my writing was about, we could sit down and talk about it. Then we would get up and go away each into our own homes and sit down to write and there would be something else hidden away, discovered, and chewed on. Word play unlocks a lot of various things to think about, but sooner or later I think you have to start making the connections. That way, you get something more out of it. But yeah, it’s great to let your writing session freak flag fly.

Apparently there is a bus that will take you from Houston to Austin in a breath, for ten dollars, so that’s twenty round trip. You can get away, and why wouldn’t you? You think of slipping away a lot. Off and away! You’ve already gone to so many places in your head. One day a river of spinning jewels twirled over your field of vision. You could’ve been talking to someone and it was as clear as day, this thing. The jewels that created a self-aware rainbow, wishing gems.

May a land of money fall into my back yard. May a moneyless land set foot into my indebted territory.

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