Hands

I am in fact a good man
a kind man
and a gentle man

these are gentle hands
the hands of a philosopher
and I look up
to other philosophers
and more importantly not
just philosophers
but to those
whose thoughts bend with the
times where time itself does what
it does to bend

“she’ll be comin’ around the bend…”

these are those hands
gentle hands
none other than

but they will set
fire to your house

if it is a fire fight
you’re looking for

don’t come looking

1988

The car containing the four of us maybe five of us Spun in a holy silence and the rain was everywhere and cars passed by like it was this music video we were in, so the tire that had blown out going down that hill forced us into a circle of life that was to make possibly a very painful death for us. The car flew up the curb and we were stationed on a lawn. It was pouring. We were without umbrellas but we got out okay, unharmed, soaked, and decided Fuck This, let’s go to Laser Tag. So we got on the bus two blocks away and went on down for some Laser Tag. Yeah. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.

Best We Build

death is in the air
suicide is in the park

how do I know?

just tune in and you too can know

do you care to know?

that is the question

just what is art, anyway?
that’s another question

and for me, not an argument

I don’t want to attach myself to the end result
probably I’ll be somewhere
right in the middle

I’m tired of fighting

and tired of sketchy characters and low talk
motherfuckers that bring keyboards to knife fights…

tired of interacting
explaining/Explaining/Repeating
rinse rinse

a friend tells me
"movement equals desire"

and why argue?
I’d rather think that over
it is not
after all
a poison dart to end all movement
or end all desire but why not
give it
some more thought
during drunken night
sober night
groggy mornings
grumpy afternoons
happy sunshine afternoons you turn into

just what is it that you can
bike all over town
but can’t sit absolutely still for
twenty minutes…
thirty minutes…
dare I say even…
                                  an hour?

guess ‘cuz I don’t know
these local people
that bite it
I’m less affected
doesn’t make it any less
tragic and tender

those who do catch wind
of fresh death of friends
are brought to suchness
that it feels
their very stomachs
are dropping out

maybe these times
call for more death and plane crashes

maybe we’re tuning in too much

and my depression connects to your depression
and the corner we wind up drinking in
crying to our beers in…
will not keep us forever

we very simply have to take better care of ourselves

then we build the best buildings
and become the best, truest friends this whole world has ever seen

Trillions of Years

we don’t say much
we don’t say much out loud

instead fill the air
with so much
cryptic blabber

we don’t want to
expose ourselves
or who we
consider ourselves to be
as if somehow our own suffering

is so incredibly unique

and thus we further
become isolated
and bent out of shape…

it is not always wrong to do so

so many people
we feel
can get bent out of shape
trying to understand
what we say
what we’re about

it really makes
being honest
a difficult task—
if you’re afraid
if you’re
not wise
not grown
not adult

and can’t
take

responsibility
for
your
own
actions

then
what choice is there?

one of my own bad habits
is I’ll sit down with company
at my house and play
some music or a movie
without really even bothering
to engage in a conversation

as I right this wrong
I’m always glad for it
and it does feel right

what are we afraid of?

in an earlier dream
we were at a
birthday party for my grandmother
no one, not even myself
brought her a present

lies started to manifest
to ease the pain of it—
how really
do you right a wrong such as that?

and this is really
what grown folk do
those who are truly grown
they watch their words to
check to see if they’re damaging
and search their hearts
for expression in indeterminate territory
and speak on

not probable—
that all of life is suffering
probable—
a lot of life is suffering

end the cycle—
then we’re searching for
the best answer to say things kindly
and to listen kindly
because everyone is in a sense
speaking a different language
based on their own perceptions
so slowing down
to see
what is the what
is
maybe

a

key

my good friend has invited
me to break away
from it all
to go and sit and say nothing
for a ten day period
and write nothing
and listen to nothing
to really look
no one in the eye
which
represents childhood for many
but here
there is a different
force behind it
an adult
standing up
saying
it is time
to sit back down
and say… absolute zero, nada
and risk insanity
and it is not a crackpot idea
or a pipe dream
people have been
sitting in
meditation for extended periods
of time
for trillions of years
it is what you do
after all
when you’re in the womb
(for what seems like
trillions of years)

some talk to god
(there is no way to prove)
some talk to self…
some turn off all the talking
because it all
can just become a little too much
some realize there
really isn’t a self…
which is my train of thought as
of late…

in two months when I
take this little sabatical
I can only imagine
all the chatter flair up
on the mind screen
and pain in
the legs…
I’ll remind myself to breathe
slowly or quickly
as if pregnant in a hospital
blood pouring from
between the legs
lightning shattering the 
world wide web

suddenly the real answer will come—
this is just what
you need to be doing
this will get easier
this will become second nature
everything will get clearer
all the bullshit chatter
will eventually wind itself down
and the natural peace
that is already there inside you
will make itself known to you
because you waited

because you waited

because you     waited

because     you     waited     for        it

Any Direction

the merits of big talkers

the merits of those who love their voices
and cannot wait for more

are

e     m        p       t         y

walk any direction you choose
tell what you encounter

share it along

give us something new

should not be:

more of the same more of the same

who are your
friends anyway
who just laugh at you
and don’t help you?

what knowledge has been acquired
can it truly
be applied?

is your knowledge ALIVE?

cantankerous early riser drinking poison

there was a spider mishap

all kinds of belongings
got up and walked out of the theater

nothing behind the scream

do you have a sense of audience?

e    mp     ti    nes    S

go any direction as you are without limit
walking swimming gliding rolling
as it is your right to do since you are AWAKE

this is real, is it not?

Some of Today

to recover…

"you’re recovering?
I talked to you awhile back
and you were sick…"

yeah, what is with the
world today, huh?

sick all the time

in debt all the time
fret all the time

locked outta house and home

sip a humble martyr tea

outer space man outta space man mind
clank and feet shuffle

meditation session turns
into a writing session

to recover…

you still have a heart and blood flowing
through you, you’re still at this address and
have the same phone number
from like a year ago

walk around just one block to
catch your bearings
get some of that daytime light

almost back
in fighting condition again
I’m feeling so good—
I tell myself

and so WHO WANTS A FIGHT?

surprises are
in the air

love is in the air…

surprise is somewhere in there

love is… hiding in the air

love is a Duck shot shot down out of the air

surprise dead   dead      dead            dead      ducks

Torment

guess my immune was down
because the open
window yesterday
put a hurting on me as I slept

waking into a world of
fever pain and head cold sneeze
and chest cold coughing up the London Bridge

I would like to describe it
further and spend this time
chatting with you so much
but I don’t feel like I can

every window I look out of
all I see and feel
is this torment

please think some good
thoughts my way…

Coat Murder

body sensation
mind assignment
seed to fruit
beginnings of something
spoil at middle or run-on like a sentence
spin cycle deluded abuse
tolerate the continuation and disease
unexpected sting
then sting after sting
happily ever after

ring ring!

ring blood covered
screaming:

COAT
MURDER!

Events Unfold

movie rotation
laughter
lounging
reading
tea
breaks
thinking
sitting on the rug
hurting
hearing rumors
niceties
club vibes
Interneting
cats
a word
starting with V
shows
resume
relaxation
reconnecting
communicating
warmth
and
care

What is Enlightenment? (About.com tries to Answer)

 The Sanskrit word for enlightenment is "bodhi," which means "awakened." But awakened to what?

The only true answer to the question is to realize enlightenment. Short of that, we must come up with provisional answers that, the teachers tell us, do not really do justice to enlightenment.

Enlightenment can be defined as the cessation of dukkha, which is another word usually mangled in translation. It can be defined as the full realization of the truth of the Buddha’s teachings. It can be defined as awakening to a great reality most of us never perceive.

Enlightenment in the Buddhist sense has nothing to do with knowledge or intellect. Nor is it living in an otherworldly state of being "blissed out" or having visions or supernatural experiences.

In his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, Shunryu Suzuki Roshi said that enlightenment is "nothing special. … You may say ‘universal nature’ or ‘Buddha nature’ or ‘enlightenment.’ You may call it by many names, but for the person who has it, it is nothing, and it is something."

Also Known As: Bodhi (Sanskrit, "awakening")

Fill In The Open Space

 BGK…

 

is a very nice young man

 

making sandwiches and his own meals now

 

all over Skype, Facebook, and other online apps

 

pondering what tonight will turn into

 

updating his status, most often in third person

 

has a headache

 

wants you to read what’s in the news

 

volunteers as a sound board opp for Houston IndyMedia

 

enjoying nice weather like other people.  1969 in the sunshine!

The Chron

air flow
to troubled lungs
like everyone
already knows
get there somehow
uh huh nodding
of in and out breath
simulates other ins and
outs in life
ups and downs
to and across

a problem chronic
paper dove smashing