Destroy The Mountain With A Silk Cloth

a clutter about the room and mind and digispace
this reflects the flurry of emotions
and assignments given
that we all have to deal with
and respectively find our own ways
in dealing with it all

the amount of time I have
to come here and write
seems as if just a seed
but I’ll take it

let me say I have
developed a
new respect
for the world and universe
and have felt the
tiniest of organisms
trying to
communicate
something to me

I am a part of them
and they are a part of me
we are not so much
in each others way
as we are traintracked
across one another

it is something I will continue
to think about
and therefore go
deeper into

the kind of journal/blog
I wish to write
will become less involved
in the ordinary

. . .

there is a palm
witness the palm
transform itself into a giraffe
witness Elvis jump onto the giraffe
and rotate the letters of
the alphabet
like on wheel of fortune
school children will have
to sing it differently
a man in his wheelchair
moves at his own pace
pulling himself along with his legs
scabs on his hand ready
to come off
I wonder how they got there
the outdoors (like the indoors)
can be unkind

. . .

a body trembling shaken
an earthquake tremor
the volcanic form
the soul the whatever
within
wanting to burst forth
the consciousness expands
and fills the room
the ordinary neediness
dissolves

ego dissolves
into something bigger and better
if just for a minute
my days are insects
much smaller than ants

I fear losing my mind this time
but it comes back
and I sort through change
I mourn its return

is it a new one?

I said it before
I experience it more
and more
now
what is happening
is happening around me
their insults
bounce off

at work I say in my head to her:
“it’s okay you ask me to do something
it’s not okay you ask me to feel bad…”

this in regards to her asking
me to do something after I had clocked out for lunch
but went back for my forgotten keys
her: “well of course you wouldn’t report to me to let me know…”
me: “oh, I’m sorry… you were on the phone. anyway, I told her…”
her: “okay…”
me: “what can I do for you?”
her: “I was going to ask you to email this file, but since you already clocked out, I can wait…”
me: “okay. goodbye.”
pass the passive
aggress-ive
HOT potato

. . .

Friendship is so important, but if you use that friendship in an attempt to fill a void within you, you cheat the friendship. You cheat the friendship enough… and it’s gone. You must sit alone and take advantage of the tool of meditation or if you do not like that word… well, you have to meditate, whatever word you choose. Some will give various methods and techniques, but first and foremost, you must grab time to be alone and you must in some way step into higher and higher realms of consciousness almost in the same way your parents would nag you to “grow up.” By now your parents, and this seems judgmental, are probably growing down. My grandmother once told me that she refuses to grow any more. “I’ve grown enough,” she bursted out. It was a candid admission. But I don’t want to be jaded like that. I doubt I ever will.

I’m inspired into the infinite.

I’m becoming a great friend to myself.

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