alone time

I don’t
have any
fashion statements
to make

any other
is coincidental

time is
being
filled up
with big city
goodness

which is
why we
moved
to Houston

finally things
fall
into place
for us
to a degree

this is all
accidental

these are
sunday statements
that
replace
the fashion statements
autumn leaves
breezed in
onto the first floor tiles
the holes in these clothes
are natural

I’ve
really really
changed
over time
and I think
anyone from
the past who
knew me
would be surprised
the “damage” that
has been done to
my belief system

I’ve drastically
altered
I think
for the better

these have
all been
changes for
the better

I’ve moved back
however
into some old
rooms of isolation

rooms
that horrify
rooms that I’m
not
a stranger
to

back in the day
one would
mention
to another
that
I am
a nice guy
or whatever
the other devotee
would reply
yes, but he
spends too
much time
by himself

a warning

if you spend
too much
time alone
just where
will it lead?

this same devotee
later
must have spent
some of that alone time himself
time in which
he realized
he was divinely gay

as a two dollar piece

I’ve come into my own
revelations
those of disbelief

if you can be alone
all alone
for awhile
what you find
might really scare you
…at first

the cats
are fighting
like wild beasts
screaming
blood of murder

much on
my mind these days
the idea that
we are without a god
that is all powerful
one that even gives
a damn
what proof is
there otherwise
that we are
looked out after
when you consider
the devastation
wrought by
the tsunamis and hurricanes
and bird flu
from bird to person
to person
and don’t forget war

which side
is god rooting for?

whatever your book
it’s just another book

until it starts
glowing bright red
and shooting incinerating beams
into dense crowds
and floating
from off the table
you’ve
got nothing
to say to me
that would
any longer
sway me
phase me

you’re exactly right
I don’t have faith

I no
longer
have any

there’s just
no proof
and we’ve
been
deluding
each other
all this time

this is what
alone time
has brought

the gift
of a good
revelation

we’re alone
in this mess
to survive
be good peeps
without aid
without any fantastical device
and make due
with what we have

all on our own

no mommy
or daddy’s
hand

kind of
a relief
really

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