out of bed

2nd cup of tea morning greeting. my first job, very first, was mowing lawns. official first was filing away cards in a greeting card factory. at the interview the guy asked me what bands I listened to, I said Judge, Gorilla Biscuits, and so on. later he admitted to me, because of this, he thought I was a “druggie,” but for some reason hired me anyway. he was not a great guy and didn’t treat me or anyone else there with a tremendous amount of respect. the ex-wife was on board as well. I could never understand that, how his ex-wife could even stick around like that. nice enough lady.

bits of data, ideas, jolting through my brain. I’m not particularly thrilled to be up wheezing or writing about wheezing, but it always comes down to that. my own apocalypse then, is losing readership because of the constant complaints brought on by this chronic condition I’m living with. am I that classic character driving everyone away, the only remainder of people being close relatives or those in debt to me.

down at the race tracks…

I was not there. never been to a race. not in the last twenty years. btw, almost each year I get the question, do you feel — whatever my current age is? 31 in Roanoke, I guess I can answer the question again, maybe in a new way. yes, definitely 31 when downtown and everyone else around is 16-20 and behave that way. this is what the poetry readings are all about here, poetry readings on a school night. those kids make me feel old. the people at my work, on the other hand, make me feel young, or sick. next to them, I just feel completely alive. I mean, they are walking dead, stale people.

I’m hating to admit this, but I’m not having a fantastic time in Roanoke. that’s when I think about my job. though in some ways I feel myself getting smarter, or wiser. that always feels good.

Sunday was more eventful, driving down with C. to Floyd county to do an interview with a farmer (I’ll write more on this later). school work. getting back, I ate so much Indian food I became super punchy and felt as if I was high. this put me to sleep for what seemed 3 hours, perhaps contributing to some of this lung trouble that I’m now experiencing.

Saturday was my birthday, which I started off well by going over to the zendo to meditate. we sat and discussed a philosophy tape afterwards, later resulting in the fragments… “imputations of the mind.”

Friday, went into work dressing as casual as possible hoping no one would say anything. they wished me a happy birthday in passing, which was nice, I think. maybe by this point we all have hard feelings for one another. the copiers are always breaking down and adding to the stress. this of course doesn’t help. it’s been a year now. things are busier and most there are still not competent enough to perform the simplest of tasks. so work piles up faster.

I need to pace the floors and read. bye for now.

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