You don’t get yourself something as wonderful as a hardcore scene

today I’ve been listening to old hardcore bands like Chain of Strength, Bold, etc. those days are still so important to me. they were so much more fun than they were militant. we wore shirts like Drug Free Youth and felt a sense of belonging to something ultra cool. going to shows then was always like going into a room full of fire crackers. you never knew when someone was just going to go off. a band would be playing and the forth fight of the show would break out, the bouncer would have the kids thrown out or call off the show altogether. once someone dived off the stage wearing Doc Martin’s (when they were not trendy on a large scale) accidentally kicking me in the face. my nose exploded blood all over my shirt and the floor. it took a few minutes to stop the flow as I went to the back of the club, in the bathroom, still listening to the music and getting ready to go back out there. I was a part of something so significant.

sometimes I wonder if any of it would be there to go back to. Token Entry is no longer around. the Safari Club no longer puts on shows, or probably even exists. the traffic standing in the way of 7th Street is horrendous. I am in Roanoke, four hours away. I am turning 31, bones are more brittle. I skate less, as in not at all. so life’s externals are all very different, yet I am still listening to Chain of Strength, just encoded on MP3, not 1st pressing green vinyl (“Has the edge, has the edge gone dull?!”). now there are new things to be in a good mood about. those have to be recognized, too. back then I would not have been able to recognize these things as something positive and be able to incorporate them in.

it did not matter that my mom, grandmother, father, grandfather, did not understand what I was going through, the hard times, and good times, to an extent, once I realized they were either incapable or deliberately not going to participate in my life. to that generation, well, they just didn’t get themselves something as wonderful as a hardcore scene. their lives were so much more mundane and shitty. if you weren’t there, you don’t know what I mean. words can only say so much about what a feeling that was – to be my age going to punk shows in DC.

on weekends, you could go down into Chinatown and see these legendary bands from New York, or local bands, just fucking rocking it! there was the pit, the snake pit (Government Issue coined), the “mosh” pit. it was funny how this term mosh pit came into use. very clearly, to me, MTV gets the blame for this. in reality, a mosh pit does not exist in the hardcore scene. “moshing” actually refers to the mosh part in a punk/hardcore song, a sort of slowed down, more melodic section, when everyone just goes the fuck off in way that is more… gracefully macho. sometimes you’d hear a kid say, “oh here comes the mosh part!” oh shit! awww shit! here we go! this was the real deal when Judge was in town, Sick Of It All, or any of those bands. come on, mosh it up, motherfuckers! DC, let’s see what you got! all else is slamming. what a damn shame, though. mosh has become a household word associated with “going to see Metallica and being in the mosh pit.” MTV missed the subtlety of our underground scene and brought something else out into the youth culture.

I just took this silly online quiz, what DC hardcore band are you? One of the questions: what do you like best about hardcore? choices: you get to be yourself. it’s an honest forum to hear and exchange radical ideas. experimentation. there is just so much energy that you can let loose, vent, have fun, etc. it’s in our own hands and we can do whatever we want. it’s a good way to open kids’ eyes to the things going on in the world.

I just answered the one that got me being the legendary Faith. there is so much energy that you can let loose, vent, have fun, etc. out of everything, I thought this encompassed those days as truly classic, even romantic, and I don’t think that’s pushing it.

. . .

we were talking in the coffee shop about writing, having no style, or having all-style-no-substance. I think with myself, there is often a lot of self doubt. this can be warranted and unwarranted all at once. today I make no attempt to write out stanzas, which to my mind’s eye, are not approachable or cuddly. the coffee shop has these old library looking books that appear so useless and were put there on the shelf to make the place come off political or intellectual, which trips me out, the idea of trying to be something extra, to add value, enhance.

need a safe place to write and think inward, be with myself privately. meditate? meds. yes. Jim has passed away. a silent time sadness. park’s lovely weather. casey is into her new book, Feed. she keeps reading passages to me aloud as I’m trying to write this. sounds good, though, a quick read, as she puts it. I’ll probably rummage it when I can.

I want to start a fast typist’s club, a blog community – haha. not really. simply type fast sentences out. watch the paragraphs appear out of no where. in no time! chime of 1AM chimes! that old watch of mine with the rickety watchband. write like you’re fiending for crack. something like that. when in bed, listen to the spoken word, radio show, or Bodysong soundtrack. read in the bathroom! illuminate, to bring light to.

What DC Hardcore Band Are You?

You are THE FAITH! You are so underrated it’s sad.
You are shy but hold a lot of anger and power
inside of you. You may seem kind of snotty but
it’s mainly misunderstanding. Also you are
highly self-involved in the projects you
undertake, you are a go-to person. Don’t worry,
everyone will come to their senses and start
paying attention to your awesome talent in no
time.

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