wish I were well. anyway, I work with a bunch of straight up gay folks. this morning at the meeting they were talking about how they hate Rosie O’Donnell, all to do with her gay marriage and anti-Bush statements over the past few days.
I behaved myself in silence. I realize their engines are so overheated because they’re flaming gay themselves but are too scared to come out.
I catch bits and pieces of their conversations. sometimes I want to chime something in, throw a wrench in, then I think it’s not worth it.
keep piling up those pay checks and pay it no mind.
my new book God Bless No One is available for free in PDF format. the actual book is printed off in small quantities – it is available via postal for a few bucks. drop me a line if you’d like a hardcopy.
the writings are basically tightened up pieces from my LJ entries in the past, with a few exceptions of never seen before unpublished pieces.
as mentioned, here is the sound clip where in last night’s psychology class I was asked to talk about Lucid Dreaming
before I collapse, I’d just like to note a few things at day’s end. some of my suspicions about the world are coming true, are being confirmed in little ways. I think it is really all about perception. it is very much like a switch turning on, then you see. your perception is everything.
perhaps the soul is at the top of the mind, in the blood stream. the consciousness permeates all.
some go out on that limb to say ultimately we are are everything but cannot see it. for instance, when we “travel” we are actually not even moving. does that sound cracked? mark this day on your calendar, I am proposing that it’s possible that you just may be the entire state of New Jersey, and then some.
when you are yelling at me, it’s me yelling at myself. the pain behind my eyes is the pain of a suicide bomb, just less. you wonder how the helicopters and sirens out there are a manifestation of your very own self. see how large you are! you can talk to anyone.
what are your new challenges? I want to go out to people and say, I’ve been too busy to worry… about elections and everything so typical.
what a good feeling.
in psychology class the teacher asked me to speak on lucid dreaming. I may post the MP3 later…. goodnite, larger self.
in a little
the nature of
to be a sphere
why do I say
“this is a hobby”
when there is
no such thing to me
but simply to
all of my heart
the very nature
not to retract
or any longer
I sit still
the jobs come to me
the food comes to me
still shake and
of their mouths
to form a
for one person
out of your
intra and internet
from this hand’s
set a good
for traffic lights
the eyes flicker
the pond reflects
in a frame of
time still enough
to turn back
you can only
if you cannot
fit through the
if that does
here at work
off the walls
may be b/c
I am listening
to the Millennium
which is haunting
the next thought?
I’ve said hello to
but would not
say anything back
Occurred : 12/12/2003 18:00 (Entered as : 12/12/103 18:00)
Reported: 12/12/2003 5:27:08 PM 17:27
Location: Roanoke, VA
Duration:Hour and Half
ROANOKE LIGHT BALL OR CRAFT – DECEMBER 2003
I was driving south on Route 460 coming from Lynchburg VA and looked at the sky when I saw a brilliant ball of light. First I thought that is was an aeroplane, but when it did not move for minutes at a time, I decided it must be a star. At the moment, the dusk was starting to fall and the other stars were not out;it is not uncommon to see the north star at dusk. One thing was, the light was getting brighter with a brilliant white glow. I called my father to let him know about it in Roanoke; he confirmed what I was seeing. When I arrived at my house in Roanoke, I pulled out the binoculars and telescope. With the binoculars I could see a round light with a spiderweb like texture (i.e. Binoculars may cause distortion from the distance and brightness). I noticed that there was an unusual amount of aeroplane activity in the sky and around the object. I pulled out the telescope and positioned it to the ball of light. Each time I went to look through the telescope the light moved downward like it was landing. I pulled up my telescope from the back yard to the front to gain a better view and by the time I made it to the front yard, which took about 30 seconds, the light was gone.
I had my scanner on and heard usual police activity in the area, but some messages confused me that come over the air; Some of which were morse code, and someone said “Turn down the lights and the talking so we dont spook the horses”, that meaning I have no idea.
I drove to the Roanoke Regional Airport and found no activity of Military presense, and I called the security office at the airport, which they acted as if they did not know what was going on.
Roanoke has been a hotbed of activity in the last several months with military presense, mostly the Army and Air Force doing practice runs and drills here. There have been a few UFO incidents in the sky with tractor trailer shape aircraft shooting fine mist and floating long distances on that single shot.
. . .
Occurred : 9/28/2003 02:30 (Entered as : 09/28/2003 2:30)
Reported: 9/28/2003 1:22:38 PM 13:22
Location: Roanoke, VA
Duration:5 min then came back for
i havent never seen anything like that ever !
Me and two of my friends was standing on her porch and in distants we seen a round abget. it staled for a about 5 min and then went down, about 2 min later it was back in the sames spot and then it went right and disaperd. all we could see was red light.
. . .
Occurred : 10/26/2002 05:00 (Entered as : 10/26/02 05:00)
Reported: 10/31/2002 6:30:45 AM 06:30
Location: Roanoke, VA
Jackrock shaped object seen in broad daylight
We saw an object in the form of 5 rods with spheres on the ends of them. It was solid and a dark gray color. The rods seemed to shift position on a central axis. The object was hovering at about 200 ft. and drifting slowly towards the south until it went out of sight. It made no sound and had no conventional means of keeping it aloft. We observed it for about 10 min.
Occurred : 10/15/1996 23:00 (Entered as : 00/00/96 11:00pm)
Reported: 1/30/2001 23:36
Location: Roanoke, VA
((NUFORC Note: Date is arbitrarily chosen, since it was hunting season. Precise date is unknown. PD))
I saw a triangular craft with only red light from front to back on it. Craft stopped over my back yard and shone light down.
One night I heard dogs and thought there were hunters. I looked out window and saw light across the field in woods. I watched light go around in trees for while then it sstarted playing game…when I looked it went out…I looked away it came on…this went on for about 15 minutes. Then light shot out of trees up and over ridge. I left and came back to look a few minutes later to see craft low over field,no blinking lights, only a long red light going from front to back of craft. It took a long time to reach crest of mtn. swinging around peak and coming down gulley of mtn. skimming trees. I got gun and went outside. The craft coming down only had light inside like a cockpit. When got close it turned off light. Stopped over back yard and shined a spotlight at my feet. I ran to house next door and looked back and it was gone.
Occurred : 8/15/1972 09:00 (Entered as : 08/12/72 09:00)
Reported: 4/7/2003 9:16:31 AM 09:16
Location: Roanoke, VA
Children see hovering craft above house
When I was 12 and my brother was 11 we saw a hovering circular craft over our house about thirty feet above our house. It had circular blinking multi=colored lights, it made no sound and hovered approximately two minutes before moving to the woods at the side of our house. It had seemed to land but we later found no evidence. That night after going inside there was a very bright light coming through the window filling the room. I could not shut it out by closing my eyes and covering my head. After that I don’t remember much of the incident.We live on a dead end road surrounded by woods. We were the first house you came to on the road. Our driveway goes up and you can not see the house from the road, it was just off a secondary road , near the bottom of a mountain.
((NUFORC Note: Date is approximate. We do not know if it was a morning, or evening, sighting. PD))
. . .
Occurred : 20:00 (Entered as : 12/2/98 20:00)
Reported: 12/15/1998 06:19
Location: Roanoke City, VA
Let my Dog out ,,saw moon jupiter and other stars.Thuoght that it looked unusualy bright about 3 or 4 times brighter than Jupiter.watched it for about 5 minutes then it just blinked out.It was stationary never moved.Just blinked out.
very bright thats about it…
. . .
check out nuforc.org for sightings in your area.
here is a flier I’m having to produce at work for one of our clients, a local temp company.
ADVANTAGES TO USING WHITE COLLAR TEMPORARY EMPLOYEES
• White Collar Temporary Employees bring a starndard of professionalism, experience, and educational backgrounds to your company
• Provides an excellent way to screen applicants before hiring for permanent position
• NO ABSENTEES – The Client Company only pays for time worked
• Reduce hiring costs (administration, advertising, human resources, etc.)
• Eliminates all benefit resonability including insurance, sick leave vacations, profit sharing, etc.
• Eliminates Social Security, Unemployement Taxes and the paper – work involved on tax forms
• Eliminates liability and Workmen’s Compensation Insurance costs
• Eliminates hiring permanent people during peak periods, and then laying them off
• Short – to long – term projects that need a professional experience
• Better control of the complanies’ cash flow
• It saves money
• Used properly, can increase productivity
• Prevents a bad image of company (If company has to hire and let go of a lot of people, due to peak production times, it can present a bad image for the company)
can the corporates be any more blatant?
You came from the future. You have wisdom beyond
your age and are always thinking ahead. A
favorite poem of yours is “Autumn” by
Emily Dickinson. You have strenth and
independence. Intelligence and creativity are
your strong points and you always try your
best. Your heart shines through hatred and
always discovers truth. Often you are found
looking ahead and wondering what put us on this
Earth. Your heart is in the right place, but
don’t let your wisdom shine through fun. Your
worrying can often prevent you from finding
friends, but your nice and caring spirit makes
up for it. Wisdom is your soul.
**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
stick from the yard
a wire a hanger
in the socket
movie ticket stub
a baby puppy
heard not seen
if you can think
think about loving
try to love deeply
love is the
all you have
spell your name
how someone else
spells your name
in your voice
a mother can’t
too old and
so I see
in the throat
in the stomach
but . . .
kitten meow like
a little cow
behind my back
all around you
on studying over
I do want
to think of
in my lap
. . .
often wonder these days just how much I can possibly do, if even time itself is just a big sham. I’m seeing the life of so many people choked out of them. seeing into different truths. writing single lines. am growing. getting closer. being led. how does it go? seek and you shall find… ask and it shall be given. give to yourself. thoughts are most powerful.
. . .
return to writing, young lad. okay. and be glad. today, tonight, am glad. walked around. floated around. you go to sleep, have an out of body experience, experience more freedom. I want to experience that in writing, and in sitting around in this room. it is really the freedom of thought. that is, thoughts are things. your thoughts store up enormous in the objects around you. your thoughts hang off you. I read your thoughts flow like blood all through your aura. the mind cannot be found in the brain because it hovers outside of it. so some close their precious eyes but see through their fingers. believing is seeing. seeing is thinking.
. . .
massage one area to tend another. the doctors have exhausted themselves. or rather, they have exhausted me. after thousands of dollars they say they see nothing wrong with my leg. I will have to become my own witch doctor – which I don’t have a problem with. tonight my leg is trembling. put your hand right there and you too can feel it. perhaps down on a micro level my leg is protesting the republicans and democrats. having to choose between the two is not a choice, but a threat. anyway, there is no guarantee small people don’t lie either. it’s just when you see a monopoly of the disseminating “facts” you start to wonder just what the hell is up with that one particular monopoly. the leg is saying something like, the few are not nurturing the many, but see them merely as their entertainment, and often a nuisance to deal with, then realizing what a treasure there is in the mind, and how it must be dealt with. I reassure the leg that it is keeping good tabs but not to become overly emotional…
I just discovered that
new Living Colour
“I jumped out of the window
to get to the parking lot
I’m writing this little song
on my way down
never in my life
have I felt a
heat so hot
I had to get out
such a lovely day
to go flying
sky’s so clear the sun
fate has given me wings
such a terrible
i was gathering up my nerve
to ask out Carmen
she floats out of the window
oh my God
now we’re on our way
now we’re holding hands
just like the way
such a lovely day
to go flying…”
I’ve been waking up a lot feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. having a sore throat time of it, barely able to talk. reading more, living in my head and heart more, writing a little or a lot less. there is always some suffering on the other side of the coin. still I feel writing will be better for it in the longrun.
it’s just hard to put a lot of thoughts to words lately. I know this is not such a great thing.
I love it when Rudra plays like a kitten. even if something winds up broken.
the sun is coming up, everything ultra frozen. one reason for being so sick jan/feb is I have yet to get myself a pair of gloves. I am out scraping ice off my windshield before I go to work with no gloves. my bare hands on the ice cold steering wheel. in winter it’s harder to take care of myself.