turning the notion around and around in my head that this is a fake world fed by the fears of the mind which only creates more illusion and suffering. we have a thirst for it. commercials are the lies, products are the poison. what we can look forward to in this scenario is more trickery, more dependency on being taken care of by someone else, by a government, by its military.

a gov’t and it’s military.

I am lightening up around all the people that vote and think any of it is to their benefit.

(Bush didn’t even win, was put into power anyway; if Gore was put in, how different would things be anyway? now he works at Apple. Apple teams up with Pepsi to give away free music under 1 of 3 bottlecaps in February. folks lose more teeth but dance more. get more headaches but can fucking swear more. one agenda behind a two party system. we get to vote every 4 years: “what flavor of dictatorship would you like this go around?”)

I’m
game
off

everything
is built of sound

trying to
figure an existence out

body spruced lying
face up in
casket to
greet loved ones
after a
long week

I need to
tell you also
that I’m seeing or
feeling things
before they happen

when I get into work
I’m feeling
more miserable more
often

winter is hard to live through

I start to think depression can
be thrown off by
steady exercise and
eating better
and –
I can take
liberty
to be more
creative in the
work space
liven things up a bit
some days when I
get home I’m trying
anything to just
feel alive again.

jump start me
like a lawn mower

. . .

4:20 pm, clock watching, friday afternoon, relaxing some. but many interruptions. gang green. gang green. gang green. keeps going through my head. why is this? we are
going for
indian food
long in the making (3 week murder trial)
temperature again below freezing
pace myself with the assignments
non rushing
wu-tang playing: “unlimited epidemics being spreaded…”

Wu-Tang ClanImpossible

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