Halloween notes

Hitchcock bio playing
5 or 6 groups of kids came to the door
I walked myself through the neighborhood
checking out the decked out houses
pumpkins candles skeletons ghosts cob webs
orange lights
the creative works of a master of suspense

I’m glad to be away from work
they’ll ask when I’m back
how was it
it can’t be put into words
like jumping off cliffs
to the water

Halloween notes

darker much earlier
TV playing
waiting for the kids to come
just went to Blair Witch 2
trying to be in the spirit
and I am
to an extent

other stuff going on
that just has me
depressed as hell
cut off from everything

spending a lot of time breaking things
trying to fix them again and
mouth foaming with fury
is this really what I want to do
it doesn’t matter
it’s how I’m pulled
I don’t have a say in it
the day goes
as mundane as it pleases
and the things that
come out of my mouth
might as well be logos
for bars of soap

what’s the opposite
of hunger
I am the opposite
of the opposite
of hunger
answer equals pie squared
dollar sign
they make their hands
grab the money

Alice in Chains are playing. I think they suck. used to love them. in the present someone else is playing this crap that can be bought on any corner store and it’s just this repulsive rock to snort cocaine to.

he said, so when are you going to crack? all endeavors are being made to ensure this doesn’t happen. new levels of mind losing.

cold air has no sympathy

why say anything
why talk
why open your mouth

listening in on too much

an old woman found just inside the door locked and no signs of forcible entry. all sealed windows yet investigators suspect it’s a homicide, won’t reveal the factuals, and people want to know what the hell is going on. the thought of unhappiness cracks the heart. where’s a good distraction? tell you what’s the matter? what makes you think I would even tell you this week’s weather forecast?

safe places in writing, reading, praying. these things. the mind is technical turning into a damn iMachine unable to talk or write letters. please acknowledge my regretting; I don’t want to be another 17 year old fanatic, don’t want to be cracked and dripping blood for zombies and sharks either.

in a building
like insects
the A is for attitude
slow in-the-way-attitude
who you talkin to?
time to close your mouth
down on the fishing hook
cold air has no sympathy

more of this

I’m not dead. just been away for awhile, collecting thoughts, trying to figure out why I should continue writing things for other people to read. still without an answer but a curious need to push on with it. more of this. radiohead, my good friends, have their album out and are crushing all the charts. some weren’t expecting this because their drastic change in style. but I’m very happy for them. it’s sunday whiling time away making icons, listening to music, reading passages from Vraja-mandala Lament: A Writer’s Parikrama. nothing like a good zombie movie before bed.

can’t sleep

nod
as in affirmed
far from nodding off
to sleep
brightness
not the same as
bright ideas
which I have
hopes for
techniques
technical
minded
inconsistent entries
Kid A finally released
buy 2 copies
I am on top of things
tell yourself this
build and paint the fence
mow the lawn
chop wood
grass is fresh in the air
electric
reading about grammar
and breaking it
cannot predict if
a person like me
will really follow the rules
man made rules are
meant to revise
and move along
with the times
hell
what do you know
sometimes I feel sick
of everything
don’t you?
don’t want to do a damn thing
maybe it’s that inherent need
to meditate
sit still damn it

comes with the fall

you look like a piece of chalk
friends who give you advice
are a bunch of bitches
cold indifferent husband
what’s that you’re reading
here let me have it
oh I threw that book away

certain with time
I uncover you for what you really are
why the hell are my baby’s eyes
like that

suspicious taste to this

plot of land
scheme against man

tribe of witches?
wording right?
coven of witches
all of them witches